心理教室
Understanding Pre-marital Counselling
Marriage is one of the most important decisions in life and should never be taken lightly. Nowadays, many people have lost confidence in marriage. Quite a number of young couples adopt a “stay if it works, leave if it doesn’t” mindset, and lifelong commitment is no longer the goal.
In such a social climate, how can we rebuild confidence in marriage? How can couples prepare themselves for this lifelong journey?
Whether your relationship is strong and loving, or going through challenges, pre-marital counselling can help you build a solid foundation, navigate difficulties together, and work towards a lifelong commitment.
Case Illustration
Mr Lee (26) works in a finance company. Ms Chan (23) is his colleague. They met at work and later began a relationship. Although they occasionally argued, their relationship was generally stable. After nearly two years together, they decided to get married.
However, during wedding preparations, many conflicts emerged:
- The bride preferred a grand and elegant wedding, while the groom wanted something simple and practical
- She wished to live in Kowloon, while he preferred Hong Kong Island
- She wanted a Western-style wedding, but his parents opposed it
- Financial pressure (wedding, housing, honeymoon) led to frequent arguments
Marriage began to feel stressful rather than joyful. They even started to question whether they were suitable for each other, and in one argument, they considered breaking up. Friends suggested pre-marital counselling to help resolve their issues
During counselling, the couple explored topics such as:
- Personality and values
- Family background
- Communication styles
- Conflict resolution
For example:
- Mr Lee tends to withdraw and become silent when upset
- Ms Chan tries to show care, but feels rejected and criticised, leading to frustration
Through counselling, they learned to:
- Understand each other’s emotional patterns
- Give appropriate space
- Express needs at the right time
- Listen more deeply and respond constructively
After six sessions, their negative communication patterns improved significantly. They felt more hopeful and confident about their marriage.
Statistics
According to official statistics:
- Divorce cases in Hong Kong increased from 2,062 in 1981
- To 13,425 in 2001 (an increase of about 6.5 times)
- In 2001:
- - 32,856 marriages
- 13,425 divorces
- Divorce rate: approximately 41%
As divorce becomes more common, more people may see it as an easy solution to problems, further reducing confidence in marriage. This leads to more individuals choosing to remain single or cohabit, creating a negative cycle.
What is Pre-marital Counselling?
The aim of pre-marital counselling is to help couples prepare for the transition into married life. Topics typically include:
- Family of origin and upbringing
- Communication and conflict resolution
- Roles and responsibilities in marriage
- Expectations of marriage
- Relationship skills
- Social life
- Sexual relationship
- Extended family relationships
- Family planning
- Financial arrangements
- Faith and family (for Christians)
Many programmes also include psychological assessments to help couples understand differences in personality and values, allowing them to find balance and reduce conflict.
Counselling Format
1. PREPARE / ENRICH Assessment
| Process: |
|
| Fees: |
|
2. Follow-up Counselling (2 sessions)
| Includes: |
|
| Fees: |
|
| Additional sessions: |
|
Information provided by Hong Kong Psychological Counselling Centre |
|
| The Hong Kong Psychological Counselling Centre is a private organisation offering comprehensive counselling services. It has over ten therapists with different areas of expertise, providing in-person counselling for individuals and families. Appointments can usually be arranged within seven days, and all information is kept strictly confidential. | |
| Tel：6676 4236 | Website：www.hkpcc.hk |